At one time I was an active member of a church community and thought it was the best way to get a sense of balance in my life. Throughout that time, I never really felt that I found that calm, that sense of being able to turn it off. If anything, that church community became another area of responsibility and it held no stillness or rest for me.
Throughout the past few months, my husband and I have been talking about returning to regular church attendance. He is transplanted and hasn’t found a solid base of relationships to thrive in. Having grown up in a family centered in the church, he feels a pull and I can’t blame him for that.
I’m a recluse at times, perfectly happy to withdraw from the societal responsibilities of active friendships and relationships. I’ve had some fairly negative relationships in my life; relationships that have been draining both financially and emotionally. It seems that my very nature is to give of myself to everyone around me until I have no recourse for rest having been saddled with these responsibilities that I let invade my life.
Today we attended the church that I was once an active part of. It was nice to see the old faces, to feel the belonging and the feeling of community. My husband wants to go back and I understand his pull. This I will try for him.
Today was one day, less than two hours. At the heart of most churches is a community and need to engage the members for the mission of the church and the good that the church hopes to do. Will I be drawn back into the community of the church and will it deter me from my quest for rest and calm? Will I be able to balance the church community with learning to turn off and rest?