I don’t think anyone can say that procrastination actually makes them calm; not with a straight face anyway. So my question is this, if we all know that procrastination makes us anxious and takes us away from calm, why do we do it?
I sit and think this while I procrastinate moving forward on three papers that I refused to spend time on for the past three days. I sit and think, just how will I finish the work and get it in before our trip this coming week? I sit and think, just why do I do this to myself?
I, like many, am a product of now. Now it feels good to lay in bed and watch a movie with my husband. Now it feels right to clean out that fish tank that I procrastinated last weekend. Now it feels right to search for just the right seasonings to make barbecue sauce that has no sugar for my finicky diet. Now….and so it goes.
And the more I contemplate about putting off what must be done, the more anxious I get and I ask myself why do I never learn? Do I enjoy the rush of trying to get it all done? Do I enjoy the long marathon of writing and stressing? I don’t think so.
I do think that I dread the feeling that whatever I start will not measure up to my idea of my best. I procrastinate in an effort to avoid disappointing myself. But that procrastination does little to bring me calm. And that is where the true disappointment lies when the dust settles.